Tuesday, November 1, 2011


I was meditating, and Grey attacked. I was meditating, and Grey almost killed Vera.

I know I haven't mentioned Vera much lately, but she's had a profound effect on me. She's been there for me, sometimes, when I was just writhing in misery alone in my room. She's there for advice. And to top it all off, she's been protecting me from Grey this entire time.

I owe my life to her.
So when I heard her scream in pain, I sort of lost my cool.
At first. But then, something else overtook me. 

I don't remember what happened after the few seconds after the scream. I only remember thinking "Ahhh hell no" before fading into unconsciousness.
I remember coming back into consciousness underneath a blinking streetlight. Before me, on the concrete, laid Grey, in his monstrous, bulky form.
Half of his mask crumbles apart as blood drips off my fist. Pieces from said mask protrude out of my hand.

He's looking up at me, and I...I almost jump onto him. The anger pushes through my veins, and I intend to rip his body apart, literally. Surrounding my limbs, a gray coloring of energy swirls. Degausser flows through me, and I intend to kill off my greatest enemy.

Of course, Grey was counting on that. Grey begins to grin, and from underneath the robe he's wearing, wires slither out. They slide across the concrete, and try to wrap around my feet. I feel dazed and confused for a moment, and my legs refuse to move.

Grey chuckles.
Vera coughs up blood while she runs across the pavement, gun in hand. 

A bullet fires off into Grey, and he falls down.

"Vera!! You're hurt, and-"

"Yeah, kid, just follow me, get away from him, ya idiot..."

She grabs onto my arm and pulls me away from the street. For a second, she considers going into my house, but changes her mind and leads me to her car instead.

She berates me as we drive towards the hospital.

I know now, Grey was intentionally using Vera as bait to draw me out. Fuck, I know, I know, I know.

I just couldn't handle myself. I heard the cries of pain, and I lost control.

I realize I have issues with anger. I always have.

I'm a stubborn, lazy, angry loser. I'm nervous, and awkward, and, and...I'm just not perfect.
But that wasn't a result of anger. I don't know, that was more like, just instinct.
It didn't even feel like me, actually, fighting Grey. It felt like Someone else.

This isn't the first time I've felt this. I've felt this countless times before.
Like during the Showdown on the bridge.

I want to know, am I in control? 

Spent few hours at the hospital. Norman showed up, drove me home. Told me Vera would be fine.

Fuck. I hope she will be.

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