Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Holy Spirit

I used to read the Bible every night, until I realized that I was putting faith into someone else.

Don't I need to put faith into myself?

Yeah. That would be the lesson I'd be talking about learning if that was truly the problem.

But it isn't. That's not even close.

Life isn't going to get any better, even if I believe in myself.

Even if I try my hardest.

Even if everything goes right.

Because I'm never going to get anything right.

That's not who I am, that's not who I was before this, and that's not who I'm ever going to be.

I'm a Failure By Design.

That's what I am, that's what I have been, and that's what I'll always be.

I'm in shambles, and if I was a normal person, I'd be able to put myself back together again.

But I'm not. I was a wreck before this whole Dying Man thing.

"Local man ruins everything."

That should be the headline for the newspapers soon.

We're running out of time. This town's finished.

Grey's won.

Why bother fighting him?

I'd pray, but it wouldn't work.

I'd stand for something, but I'll only end up falling.

I'd try being some great white hope, but I'll never shake this little feeling.

I need to throw out everyone.

I need to burn out everything.

It's hard to be a good man sometimes...isn't it?

1 comment:

  1. You weak, cowardly little boy. Stop having your pity party and get off your ass. There are people that are counting on you. If you don't give a damn about yourself, then give a damn about them.