Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.

Today was just so quiet. No news whatsoever.

I didn't go to school today. Didn't really feel like it. I just couldn't get up out of bed. I feel like shit right now.

I've read more of The Holy Bible. I don't know why. Just felt like it. I guess I'm just looking for something more than Daisy to rely on. Maybe it's futile for me to think some deity's watching over me. I've always claimed to be an atheist, and should now think of myself as one more than ever.

What kind of God would allow such evil as The Dying Man to exist on this planet in the first place anyways? Or the rest of the...the "Fears"?

All the pain that's resulted from Grey...that's evidence enough. Or should be. And yet, I'm still skimming through Bible verses, hoping to find something that will "inspire" me in some way. I'm hopeless.

I feel so alone right now. I feel worse than how I felt while living with my mother, and that's saying something. This is probably just another mood swing influenced by Sowing Season, when will it switch over to anger?

The darkness is sinking in. I feel like I'm falling into it. It's cold, oh so cold. Am I going to drown in this?

I could look outside my window right now and see Vera in her car, on her nightwatch. I feel bad for her, since she has to stay outside in her car alone. Is she as lonely as me? Should

The moon's outside too.

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